A little over a year ago, I saw someone on TV makes some homemade fortune cookies. I thought this would be a really cool idea for something to bring into work on Valentine's Day. However, I wanted to do it with a twist. I wanted to make misfortune cookies.
I went online to find a homemade fortune cookie recipe. I wasn't shocked to find out that my misfortune idea was by no means original. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my favorite food bloggers, Ms. Humble, had already made some misfortune cookies. I decided to go with her recipe.
The cookies were a bit of work, but they turned out well. The only problem was that I had burned the tips of every single one of my fingers trying to shape the things. I finally had to call in Katie with her famous asbestos hands* to help.
This Valentine's Day, I wanted to try the misfortune cookies again to hand out at work. However, I found a different recipe that requires a lower oven temperature. I thought maybe I could avoid any third degree burns this time. The cookies had to bake double the time, but my fingers didn't mind.
For the misfortunes, I sent a message to Jeff, a friend of mine, through Facebook. He's one of those that posts completely hysterical and witty status updates, so I thought he could come up with some really good misfortunes for me. And, I was right. Within an hour, I had about twenty new ones to add to my list.
Once again, the misfortune cookies were a big hit at work. I received lots of compliments on the taste. Almost everyone also loved the misfortunes and had a good laugh. However, I admit there were a couple that from the looks on their faces seemed not to appreciate the humor. Oh well... I still think I want to do it again next year and possibly make it a yearly tradition. I'd even like to experiment with different kinds of flavorings and try dipping them partially in chocolate with sprinkles, crushed candies, etc.
*This may be even more proof that Katie is a vampire. I'm not sure. We already know that her skin is pale (alabaster as she calls it), she's a complete insomniac, she loves her meat rare, and her special power is that she can find anything anywhere ("Hey Mom, where are my shoes?" "Have you seen my keys?") Some may think this is just a little family joke, but I am beginning to wonder.
- SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING A COOKIE IS PSYCHIC.
- YOU NEED A MINT. LIKE, BAD.
- SOMEONE AHEAD OF YOU IN LINE WILL PAY WITH A CHECK.
- ERROR 404: FORTUNE NOT FOUND.
- THIS COOKIE FELL ON THE GROUND.
- PIGEON POOP BURNS THE RETINA FOR 13 HOURS. YOU WILL LEARN THIS THE HARD WAY.
- YOU ARE FAR FROM LAZY. YOU PUT IN A HARD DAY’S WORK…EVERY WEEK.
- AT THE RATE YOU GIVE PEOPLE HEADACHES, YOU SHOULD BUY STOCK IN EXCEDRIN.
- AVOID LARGE, HEAVY OBJECTS TRAVELING AT A HIGH RATE OF SPEED.
- IF YOU LIVE A LONG LIFE, IT WILL BE A REMARKABLE TESTAMENT TO YOUR FRIENDS’ AND RELATIVES’ SELF CONTROL.
- I’M WATCHING YOU. YOU CAN’T ESCAPE.
- ARE YOU WEARING THAT OUTFIT JUST TO BE FUNNY?
- YOU WILL DIE ALONE AND POORLY DRESSED.
- YOUR FRIENDS REALLY DON’T LIKE YOU.
- LOCK YOUR DOOR AND NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN.
- IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, NOBODY WILL BE SURPRISED.
- EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK.
- THE END IS NEAR AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.
- IF YOU READ THIS, YOU WILL DIE.
- IN TIME, YOU WILL OFFEND EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
- WHEN YOU’RE CLOSE TO THE BOTTOM, YOU DON’T HAVE FAR TO FALL.
- YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS, THEN QUICKLY MISPLACE IT.
- CHOOSE THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE. THAT’S ALL YOU CAN HANDLE.
- THE FORTUNE YOU SEEK IS IN ANOTHER COOKIE.
- A MISPLACED COMMA WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU.
- YOUR DECISION TO STUDY THE HUMANITIES WAS A WISE CAREER DECISION. IT HAS LET TO AMAZING ART CHOICES FOR YOUR CUBICLE.
- DON’T COUNT YOUR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY HATCH. YOU’LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT SOMEONE HARD-BOILED THE EGGS.
- ACT AS IF IT WERE IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL. PRETEND THAT YOU DON’T SEE PEOPLE LAUGHING AT YOUR FAILURE.
- A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN. A SPOONFUL OF IPECAC HELPS THE MEDICINE AND THE SUGAR COME BACK UP.
- YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION WILL SOON BE IMPROVING, WHICH ISN’T NECESSARILY SAYING MUCH.
- SO SORRY THAT YOU MISUNDERSTOOD. DOWNSIZING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WAIST SIZE.
- YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG, BUT NOT ON YOU.YOU REALLY APPRECIATE SEEING IT IN OTHERS.
- YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL YOU WEREN’T A CHILD STAR. THEIR LIVES ARE MORE MESSED UP THAN YOURS.
- YOU DON’T LOOK AS GOOD AS YOUNG ELVIS, BUT YOU DON’T LOOK AS BAD AS OLD ELVIS.
- BE GLAD YOU’RE NOT BETTY WHITE. THE GOLDEN GIRLS HAVEN’T FARED WELL OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.
- SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT YOUR LOVELIFE. WAIT, ADELE ALREADY DID.
- IF YOU ADD “IN BED” TO THE END OF THIS FORTUNE, YOU WILL BE CURSED.
- USE YOUR CHARM AND PERSONALITY TO OBTAIN YOUR WISHES. IT MAY OR MAY NOT WORK.
- IF YOU ATE THE COOKIE BEFORE YOU READ THIS, IT WAS POISONOUS. IF NOT, JUST KIDDING…GO AHEAD AND EAT THE COOKIE. NO, SERIOUSLY, EAT THE COOKIE.
- TASTES LIKE CHICKEN MEANS IT’S NOT CHICKEN.
- THE CLOSEST YOU’LL COME TO EXPERIENCING GLEE IS TUESDAY NIGHTS ON FOX.
- THINK BEFORE YOU EAT. FOR EXAMPLE, “WHAT DID THAT FORTUNE COOKIE EVER DO TO ME?”
- THE SENTENCE YOU PLAGIARIZED IN THE 11TH GRADE WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL.
- WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU YOU’RE HOT, THEY MEANT YOU’RE NOT SMART.
- THAT CARLY SIMON SONG WAS ABOUT YOU.
- LEARN FROM THE BRADY BUNCH OR YOU ARE DOOMED TO RELIVE THE TIKI DOLL PART OF THE HAWAII SPECIAL.
- EVERY PERSON IS THE ARCHITECT OF HIS/HER OWN FORTUNE. YOU SPECIALIZE IN SAND CASTLES TOO CLOSE TO THE WATER’S EDGE.
- YOUR FORTUNE IS, “COME ON, GET HAPPY.” THAT BAD NEWS? YOUR FORTUNE EXPIRED IN 1974 WHEN THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY GOT CANCELED.
- YOU WILL FIND A SMALL PIECE OF PAPER TODAY IN YOUR COOKIE.
- HELP! I’M STUCK INSIDE A FORTUNE COOKIE FACTORY.
Homemade Fortune Cookies
- 2 large egg whites
- ½ tsp. vanilla extract
- ½ tsp. almond extract
- 3 tsp. vegetable oil
- 3 tsp. water
- ½ cup flour
- 1 ½ tsps. cornstarch
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- ½ cup granulated sugar
- Food coloring (optional)
Print fortunes on pieces of paper that are 3 ½" long and not more than ½" wide.
Preheat oven to 300˚. Line baking sheet with silicone baking mat. You can grease the baking sheet or use a cooking spray, but I have had much better luck with the silicone.
In a mixing bowl, beat egg whites, extracts, water and vegetable oil until frothy.
Sift the flour, cornstarch, salt and sugar into a separate bowl.
Add the flour into the egg white mixture and stir until batter is smooth. This is also the point where you can add food coloring if you'd like.
Place level tablespoons of batter onto the cookie sheet, spacing them at least 3" apart. Spread the batter with a small offset spatula or the back of a rounded tablespoon into thin 4" circles. Bake for about 14-15 minutes or until the outer edge begins to turn golden brown. If you take them out and they do not come off easily, put them back in the oven for a few minutes.
Working very quickly, loosen a cookie with a spatula. Place a fortune in the middle of a cookie, and fold the cookie in half pinching the sides together. The cookies will be hot when you handle them. If you don't have asbestos fingertips, you can use latex or white cotton gloves. To form the fortune cookie shape, use a large mug or bowl with a high side. Place the middle of the bottom of the folded cookie on the rim of the mug or bowl and pull the ends down. Place the finished cookie to cool completely in the cup of a muffin tin so that it keeps its shape.
I would advise starting out with only one or two cookies. It takes a little practice to get the hang of things. Then, increase up to four cookies at a time. To keep things moving, I use several baking sheets and prepare them while one is in the oven.