Misfortune Cookies

Tweet

A little over a year ago, I saw someone on TV makes some homemade fortune cookies. I thought this would be a really cool idea for something to bring into work on Valentine's Day. However, I wanted to do it with a twist. I wanted to make misfortune cookies. 

I went online to find a homemade fortune cookie recipe. I wasn't shocked to find out that my misfortune idea was by no means original. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my favorite food bloggers, Ms. Humble, had already made some misfortune cookies. I decided to go with her recipe.

The cookies were a bit of work, but they turned out well. The only problem was that I had burned  the tips of every single one of my fingers trying to shape the things. I finally had to call in Katie with her famous asbestos hands* to help. 

This Valentine's Day, I wanted to try the misfortune cookies again to hand out at work. However, I found a different recipe that requires a lower oven temperature. I thought maybe I could avoid any third degree burns this time. The cookies had to bake double the time, but my fingers didn't mind.

For the misfortunes, I sent a message to Jeff, a friend of mine, through Facebook. He's one of those that posts completely hysterical and witty status updates, so I thought he could come up with some really good misfortunes for me. And, I was right. Within an hour, I had about twenty new ones to add to my list.

Once again, the misfortune cookies were a big hit at work. I received lots of compliments on the taste. Almost everyone also loved the misfortunes and had a good laugh. However, I admit there were a couple that from the looks on their faces seemed not to appreciate the humor. Oh well... I still think I want to do it again next year and possibly make it a yearly tradition. I'd even like to experiment with different kinds of flavorings and try dipping them partially in chocolate with sprinkles, crushed candies, etc.

*This may be even more proof that Katie is a vampire. I'm not sure. We already know that her skin is pale (alabaster as she calls it), she's a complete insomniac, she loves her meat rare, and her special power is that she can find anything anywhere ("Hey Mom, where are my shoes?" "Have you seen my keys?") Some may think this is just a little family joke, but I am beginning to wonder.

Below is a list of the misfortunes I used. If you can think of one to add to the list, please let me know for next year. (Disclaimer: Several of the misfortunes were found online. However, I found the same ones in several places, so I have no idea who came up with them first and whom to credit.)

1. SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING A COOKIE IS PSYCHIC.
2. YOU NEED A MINT. LIKE, BAD.
3. SOMEONE AHEAD OF YOU IN LINE WILL PAY WITH A CHECK.
4. ERROR 404: FORTUNE NOT FOUND.
5. THIS COOKIE FELL ON THE GROUND.
6. PIGEON POOP BURNS THE RETINA FOR 13 HOURS. YOU WILL LEARN THIS THE HARD WAY.
7. YOU ARE FAR FROM LAZY. YOU PUT IN A HARD DAY’S WORK…EVERY WEEK.
8. AT THE RATE YOU GIVE PEOPLE HEADACHES, YOU SHOULD BUY STOCK IN EXCEDRIN.
9. AVOID LARGE, HEAVY OBJECTS TRAVELING AT A HIGH RATE OF SPEED.
10. IF YOU LIVE A LONG LIFE, IT WILL BE A REMARKABLE TESTAMENT TO YOUR FRIENDS’ AND RELATIVES’ SELF CONTROL.
11. I’M WATCHING YOU. YOU CAN’T ESCAPE.
12. ARE YOU WEARING THAT OUTFIT JUST TO BE FUNNY?
13. YOU WILL DIE ALONE AND POORLY DRESSED.
14. YOUR FRIENDS REALLY DON’T LIKE YOU.
15. LOCK YOUR DOOR AND NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN.
16. IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, NOBODY WILL BE SURPRISED.
17. EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK.
18. THE END IS NEAR AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.
19. IF YOU READ THIS, YOU WILL DIE.
20. IN TIME, YOU WILL OFFEND EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
21. WHEN YOU’RE CLOSE TO THE BOTTOM, YOU DON’T HAVE FAR TO FALL.
22. YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS, THEN QUICKLY MISPLACE IT.
23. CHOOSE THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE. THAT’S ALL YOU CAN HANDLE.
24. THE FORTUNE YOU SEEK IS IN ANOTHER COOKIE.
25. A MISPLACED COMMA WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU.
26. YOUR DECISION TO STUDY THE HUMANITIES WAS A WISE CAREER DECISION. IT HAS LET TO AMAZING ART CHOICES FOR YOUR CUBICLE.
27. DON’T COUNT YOUR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY HATCH. YOU’LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT SOMEONE HARD-BOILED THE EGGS.
28. ACT AS IF IT WERE IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL. PRETEND THAT YOU DON’T SEE PEOPLE LAUGHING AT YOUR FAILURE.
29. A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN. A SPOONFUL OF IPECAC HELPS THE MEDICINE AND THE SUGAR COME BACK UP.
30. YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION WILL SOON BE IMPROVING, WHICH ISN’T NECESSARILY SAYING MUCH.
31. SO SORRY THAT YOU MISUNDERSTOOD. DOWNSIZING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WAIST SIZE.
32. YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG, BUT NOT ON YOU.YOU REALLY APPRECIATE SEEING IT IN OTHERS.
33. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL YOU WEREN’T A CHILD STAR. THEIR LIVES ARE MORE MESSED UP THAN YOURS.
34. YOU DON’T LOOK AS GOOD AS YOUNG ELVIS, BUT YOU DON’T LOOK AS BAD AS OLD ELVIS.
35. BE GLAD YOU’RE NOT BETTY WHITE. THE GOLDEN GIRLS HAVEN’T FARED WELL OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.
36. SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT YOUR LOVELIFE. WAIT, ADELE ALREADY DID.
37. IF YOU ADD “IN BED” TO THE END OF THIS FORTUNE, YOU WILL BE CURSED.
38. USE YOUR CHARM AND PERSONALITY TO OBTAIN YOUR WISHES. IT MAY OR MAY NOT WORK.
39. IF YOU ATE THE COOKIE BEFORE YOU READ THIS, IT WAS POISONOUS. IF NOT, JUST KIDDING…GO AHEAD AND EAT THE COOKIE. NO, SERIOUSLY, EAT THE COOKIE.
40. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN MEANS IT’S NOT CHICKEN.
41. THE CLOSEST YOU’LL COME TO EXPERIENCING GLEE IS TUESDAY NIGHTS ON FOX.
42. THINK BEFORE YOU EAT. FOR EXAMPLE, “WHAT DID THAT FORTUNE COOKIE EVER DO TO ME?”
43. THE SENTENCE YOU PLAGIARIZED IN THE 11TH GRADE WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL.
44. WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU YOU’RE HOT, THEY MEANT YOU’RE NOT SMART.
45. THAT CARLY SIMON SONG WAS ABOUT YOU.
46. LEARN FROM THE BRADY BUNCH OR YOU ARE DOOMED TO RELIVE THE TIKI DOLL PART OF THE HAWAII SPECIAL.
47. EVERY PERSON IS THE ARCHITECT OF HIS/HER OWN FORTUNE. YOU SPECIALIZE IN SAND CASTLES TOO CLOSE TO THE WATER’S EDGE.
48. YOUR FORTUNE IS, “COME ON, GET HAPPY.” THAT BAD NEWS? YOUR FORTUNE EXPIRED IN 1974 WHEN THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY GOT CANCELED.
49. YOU WILL FIND A SMALL PIECE OF PAPER TODAY IN YOUR COOKIE.
50. HELP! I’M STUCK INSIDE A FORTUNE COOKIE FACTORY.

Chocolate Truffle Cheesecake

Tweet

A coworker had six packages of cream cheese just taking up space in her refrigerator. Imagine?! That would be inconceivable at my house. So, she gave the cream cheese to me knowing full well I could put them to good use.

I clipped a recipe fifteen years ago for a Chocolate Truffle Cheesecake. I thought it was finally time to give it a try. I had enough cream cheese to make two cakes. And not only did we have house guests to bake for, there was another birthday at work.

Remember this joker? Well, it WAS actually and truly his birthday this time.

Here's Richard, one year older and wiser, with his Chocolate Truffle Cheesecake. Sorry, I didn't get a close up photo of a slice. I was pretty messy with my cutting.

Still, Richard, I advise you watch your back come April 1.

If you love cheesecake and are slightly addicted to chocolate like I am, this recipe is perfect for you. It's very easy to make, and it was a big hit at work and at home. Even my two boys, who are rather picky when it comes to cheesecake, devoured this one.

Plus, I just realized that Valentine's Day is only three days away. I just maybe making this again!

Austrian Drum Torte

Tweet

As I thumbed through a cookbook we got for Christmas, the word "Austrian" immediately caught my eye. You see, Katie, the kids and I spent the summer in Vienna directing a study abroad program. I looked at the incredible photo for the Austrian Drum Torte and read the recipe. Although it would probably be one of those very involved all day affairs, I knew I had to make it, and I knew who I had to make it for. One of my student employees, Rachel, was having a birthday, and she also went on the study abroad with us.

Here I am with some of our students at Schönbrunn Palace in Vienna. Rachel is on the left.

During my time in Austria, I had never seen nor heard of Austrian Drum Torte, but I didn't really care if this recipe was authentic Austrian because the photo in the cookbook looked so cool. However, I did do a little investigation online and found out there is really such a thing, but there seems to be a little confusion. I guess the cake is actually Hungarian and called a Dobos Torte. Dobos means "like a drum" in Hungarian. I thought the cake didn't look much like a drum, but after a little more research, I found the cake was named after its creator, Jozsef Dobos, a Hungarian pastry chef. He created the cake in 1884, and Emperor Franz Joseph and Empress Sissi were two of the first to try it. Since Hungary was at the time part of the Austro-Hungarian empire, I think it's OK if Austria claims the cake, too.

Here's the finished product. Pretty amazing, isn't it. And really, it wasn't hard at all. It's just time consuming. But, I was able to multitask and get a lot of other things done while creating this work of art.

Wunderbar!

When I brought the cake to the office, it was a definite showstopper. And of course, it tastes every bit as good as it looks. I can't wait for the next special occasion to make it again.

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Rachel!

Making this cake made me wish there were more time in a lifetime to learn several different professions. Training as a pastry chef in Vienna would be on my list. So many wonderful cafés, so many wonderful desserts! If you are wondering which café is my favorite, here are some photos of a little outing Tomas and I took to Café Central. That place is a—ma—zing! I had the Café Central Torte and Tomas had the Schokozauber (chocolate magic).  Tomas still talks about how he ate a piece of cake with real gold flecks on it.

Yep, I want to run a café like this.